Sometimes I look to death for an answer. It's easy, clean and perfect but you all know I do not have the guts to do it. Why should I be sad anyway? What gives me the right to possess the thoughts of underprivileged, I'm just being self indulgent and ungrateful, but it doesn't work this way.
It's not like I don't know why, I do, in the deepest darkest recesses of my tortured soul. But there's nothing I can do about it. That's far worst isn't it? I'd rather be unaware of why my life's so unfulfilling than to know but be unable to even guide, let alone change, the hands of my pathetic fate.
I can't bear to leave this responsibility, but neither do I bear to let myself get involved again and I feel like a crash is about to happen
Very soon
= )
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